When we got home, we knew we had to tell Addy what had happened to the baby. She was so excited to have another little baby sister. She was expecting us to come home with the baby, this is what she told my mom and sister. We sat her down and she already sensed something was wrong. She was always sensitive and read people well. We told her that something very bad happened to the baby, she will not be coming home, and she is with God now. I don't ever remember hearing her cry so hard. I could see her heart breaking right before my eyes. She looked out the window, to the clouds (to God), and cried, "But I want to see her!" She looked into the memory box and asked if she could keep the little pillow to remember Penelope. To this day, she keeps that pillow under her own pillow on her bed. She talks about the baby often and says, "Penelope is in heaven, but we won't see her in a long time" and whenever asked, she has two little sisters...one here and one in heaven.
I was worried about how this would affect Addy, but realized just how resilient she is. She grieves for her little sister, but she's also one of my greatest supports. She would see my eyes welling up with tears, run to the tissue box and bring me a tissue. She reassures me that I'm crying about Penelope and that she's sad too. She cries with me. She gives me hugs. She shields me from things that she thinks may be a trigger. She is completely amazing.
Before Addy was born, I just prayed for two simple things...that she would be happy and healthy. God answered our prayers. She's our 1 (out of 3) healthy child. She is mature beyond her age. She is kind, sensitive, helpful, understanding. She makes Ken and me smile and brings her family so much joy. I thank God for Addison every day....the best big sister to Juniper and Penelope.